my life through my tinted glasses
Sunday, November 20, 2005
  :: 3 weeks came by and passed by ::

Oh well.. i did not blog for so many months, and think i should come online more often to blog.. it helps to express my inner self, and so not to put too many things within me..

well well.. updates.. now still at Heartware.. dealing with 1 big project in Tampines.. Just went for 2 separate trips to KL, dear was back, and just left.. and okie.. brought it all up to date today.

hmm.. think i had an urge to blog today.. guess because my spirits are low.. i just cant lift it up. it is similar to 4 months ago.. when dear took his first flight to Taipei. Today is his second flight.

haiz.. downcasted again.. i dunno y.. days before, i was still fine.. thinking i can manage it, since i did manage it the past 3 months without him around... but today, all the feelings are back..

i think i was coping quite well for the past 3 months. occassionally.. fustrated with life.. dunno what to do.. sick of it.. sick of work.. no life.. but.. friends came along, and they helped a great deal.. brought me out.. i went rock-climbing.. drinking sessions.. and dinners with my friends.. they helped a lot.. and i gain momentum till dear came back.. i was back to my life before he went taiwan, enjoying my life sooooo much.. having someone to care for me.. to have someone to rely one.. to have someone to make decisions.. and all sorts.. i was just back to the feminine me..

but as he kissed and hug goodbye, i felt it once more.. i am going to miss him.. terribly again.. well.. if he did not come back.. i guess i would have coped quite well.. but now, momentum is broken, and the next time i see him will be in May 2006. 5 months from now.. whew.. that is long... i have to start training myself to be alone again.. be independent... and strong...

but again.. if i tell myself it is long, it will be long.. i must start thinking and imagining 5 months from now.. how much i will enjoy when i am in taiwan.. when dear comes back to singapore.. when i see him again... that is more positive.. and that will help me to live life easier..

well.. i told myself.. i give till the end of today.. to be upset and cry over not meeting him for the next 5 months.. and from tml onwards... i will look forward to May 2006, and take each day a fresh day.. i wun let dear be worried for me, and i will live life to the fullest. i believe dear will to..

gambatteh!  6:18 PM
a life of a NTU girl.. bored with life

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