Sighz.. bad mood...

well.. he was the one who suggested movie.. he was the one who did not contact me at all the whole day.. den when he did finally contact me.. hung up after 3 mins of talk.. does this show that he is just fu (1) yan (3) me.. or filled with sincerity?? hmphz

irritated.. and probably hurt.. y? i conclude that the closer one is to me, the greater hurt one can cause...how i came to that conclusion.. not as if i will be angry for so long, if any one else make me angry...

i think i m gg crazy for being couped up in my house.. like my hamster.. coming down with headaches and restlessness.. are they symptoms?? gg crazi.... sighz...wonder if my hamster gets headache??
  ¶ 9:14 PM

  hmm.. ivy found my blog.. wonder how she did it.. pleasant surprise though...=P What's ur pay Ivy? think have to do a survey man..

Sighz.. someone cheated me today.. well.. he mentioned that he only goes kayaking on either a sat or a sun.. then now.. this week.. he goes kayaking on both days.. ahhh.. i am pissed!!

dunno y these few days i get pissed easily.. PMS? eh.. hmmm... nevertheless, bottomline.. i m still pissed!!

Sigh.. now i dread the end of exams.. after exams means intern.. and all the instructions did not encourage me at all.. how come they bluff pple one leh? they dunno can get adverse impact.. spoils compnay image becos they are the first pple to get in touch with applicants meh?? (haha, i think S n A did some good ..) sighz. then who to believe.. like for cheok.. wear casual or office wear.. then for me.. the same.. ltr spend money on office wear liao.. then say no need to wear office wear.. pengz ah... now must spend money to buy office wear.. (just in case) then must buy a pair of court shoes.. or a black heels.. then must at least buy a few sets of office wear.. becos i cannot be wearing the same clothes over the 5 days at work rite?? sigh.. (oh yah.. ivy. they din bluff me.. still 5 days week.. whew.. but they bluff me more than enough! hmph!!) IRRITATED~~

i m not advancing for 331... i am stuck at seminar 3.. that seminar is sucky... (dun worry.. i start from the back.. keke..so left seminar 2 and 1.. which is also sucky.. ).. then must start to memorise.. ahhhhh... spare my little grey cells...

hope forces up there can help to make my day a better one... pleeeaassseee.....  ¶ 1:56 PM

  Cheated

sigh.. just saw my PA tutor.. she is irene chew.. dunno who she is la.. well not sad becos i have her as a tutor.. sad becos i saw the instructions to report to work for intern

the interviewer mentioned to me that i can take the office bus to work.. but the instruction shows that i have to take my own transport in.. cheated number 1

Then the interviewer also mentioned to me that i can wear casual wear to work.. then the instructions show that i have to wear office wear.. sianz... cheated number 2

then in the application blank, i mention my preferred pay to be 600-800 bucks.. then the instruction shows that i only have 550 bucks for internship.. sianz.. cheated number 3....

sighz sighz... spoil my day even further..

Cheok.. think i have to go shopping with you for office wear liao.. sianz.. what's ur pay cheok? i am disappointed man.. now that somehow confirm that i have to take on another job liao... no choice man...

sianz...  ¶ 12:48 AM

  Sighz.. i am soooo soooo sianz.. (oops.. is it the same as yesterday.?) yesterday i am still willing to study. but today.. its a total mood off.. i cant study.. and i am very SICK of it... YUCKS!

Maybe because i hve nothing to look forward to... maybe its the weather.. maybe its just my body.. dunno la.. very irritated..

just called someone.. and he says he forgot my home number.. well.. i just asked him how can he forget for a few times.. and he was pissed off.. okie.. i meant a passing remark.. unconciously... now i m pissed... very pissed.. and the weather is not helping..

I got this thinking since youth that i cannot be too happy at a time.. like. let's say.. i am very happy in the afternoon.. laughing away... i will be very sad at nite.. let's say.. like a scolding from daddy or mummy.. or being pissed off my anyone... well.. just now was playing a fool with mummy when i helped her to bring food back home.. now.. so pissed.. being chewed for NOTHING!! hear it? NOTHING... think my theory may work.. should do some tests.. and correlations and regression to see if my hypo stands.. hmph!

forget it.. thinking of it makes my blood boil.. think my blood boil easily these days...

well...I think i may hve to work parttime when i m interning.. can double my income.. but wonder if i can cope working for more than 12 hours a day.. dunno leh.. but.. if dun do that.. maybe i cannot learn driving at the end of the year... *hmph*

not breathing rite these few days.. hmm...
  ¶ 11:52 PM

  Sigh.. studying till very very sianz... so come and blog.. think i will end up like JM.. blogging 5-6 times a day.. hahaz..

Cheok says she is gg to sch to study.. wonder if she woke up liao.. kekek =P

Really thinking hard on how to incorporate both retreat and class BBQ with my birthday.. its a gd idea if i dun wan to exceed my max pple in my chalet.. keke.. well.. then can have dedicated birthday party.. for me.. keke.. then they no need to come back on sat, just for my actual birthday.. save on their transport...

but hor.. if go this way. then... those who are not very close to me will be obligated to buy present.. which is what i dun wan.. not nice leh... then very weird on my actual birthday.. when some pple are missing in action.. HW pple should be okie la.. becos fri to sat ma.. (though havent propose to boss yet...) but the HRC ones how?? ask them to come back again? Think Iris, Siew Chin, Rachel will be glad.. haha... close to their house.. but Cailing, Jo tang, cheok.. and those who live in the west...=P they will kill me.... !! rite cheok?? But hor.. if all on one day.. i will pengz.. and very ex leh.. i calculated.. plus family and friends.. can shoot up to 100 pple.though not gurantee attendance.. but.. long time nv meet.. think they will come... ahhh... no $$ broke!!

help me think of a win-win situation!! well well.. think this is not the rite time to think of it.. EXAMS IS IMPORTANT!! .. =S but cant help it... =P  ¶ 12:46 PM

  oh yah.. my chalet can only hold 25 pple a one go.. how?? seperate my parties??

thinking of having a HW retreat on the fri and sat... then class BBQ on thurs.. then sat party.. then sun.. dear's family...

jo tang say i will pengz.. i think so too.. keke.. see how la.. after exams then tok.. haha  ¶ 12:50 AM

  sighz.. today couped up at home like my hammie.. just that i am in a bigger cage.. now start to feel what she is feeling.. maybe should bring hammie out and play once in a while...

well.. today drama man.. was very angry with dear becos he is gg to abandon me on sat and sun to go teach kayak course... angry sia.. y?? becos i am looking forward to sat to relieve stress.. to play his hammies.. go gym.. but all was dashed becos he wans to go teach course... and he planned it so well that he will be gg outfield from mon to thurs.. best.. next time i see him will be next fri.. woah.. so far.... sighz.. he dun even spare me 1 day of his week.. sadz...

weird... i tot when i'm having exams.. then no time to go out with him,.. but.. i think its he no time to go out with me.. weird...~

well.. all ended well.. when he came over to so call coax me.. well well.. think he is the only one who can coax me amd calm me down when i am fuming.. probably that is y we r together.. but.. looking at his flirtatious behaviour and being so sociable.. i wonder if he's too sociable, or i am too sensitive.. sighz... i seem to be a very small part of his life.. becos his life is so filled with so many other stuff... sianz...

time to go and study? AGAIN.... bored with life sia.. just draw out 350 bucks for family.. wow.. i m poorer by 350 bucks.. have to start saving le... no income.. how to survive ah? Probably the powers up there can show some hints that i can go thru this phase...

ps: my soup today got worm!! but mummy like dun care leh... *hmph*  ¶ 12:37 AM

  wow.. finally.. 2 exams down.. 2 more to go..

haha.. before exams always so jittery.. was complaining to my mom that.. i dunno what to do with my time (my paper is in the afternoon). study also seem so useless now, being last min. more cramming may cause more damage.. but if i really dun do anyting.. i seem to be wasting my time... argh. that is so contradicting..!!

well.. i manage to go thru that.. when i wanna go sch.. daddy offered to send me there.. but then.. i mention that i need to get red bull as the last time i did not have.. n i almost fell aslp during exams.haha. full mah.. then cannot concentrate.. daddy immediately say he go downstairs to buy for me.. then i say.. no need la.. lter i buy.. but he say.. must have 1 hr to take effect.. so must take now.. then went down to buy.. i feel so touched.. then he send me to sch.. save me all the jostling in the packed bus.. was so touched.. but my family being the not expressive type.. i did not show it to my dad.. so here.. must thank my dad!! thank you daddy!!!

well.. exams went well.. at least i wasnt rushing for time.. and know how to do most of the questions.. then afterthat dun feel like gg home.. and was hungry.. so went to JP with Jo tang to eat and to chat.. wah.. chat for 2 hrs man.. pengz.. haha.. feel so guilty.. stupid jo..! u have 1 paper left.. i got 2!! thanks ah!! haha~ joking la..

just now chatting with JM regarding HW stuff.. some how quite disappointed as i talk.. becos most statements are quite sweeping.. across projects and across time dimensions.. many things volunteers see superficially.. and.. sighz.. make conclusions for the missing links.. well.. JM.. hope the chat do help you to have a clearer picture.. well.. sometimes..we all have to have to keep mind open and be receptive of the other views first.. sometimes.. just blocked.. and watever i say maybe on deaf ears.. sighz.. den all my good intentions.. down the drain...

sianz sia.. dampened my mood sia... then din have a gd talk with dear.. sadz.. y implicate him sia.. he's always so innocent.. haha... ~~  ¶ 12:20 AM

  sighz... read Barry's blog earlier (actually i wonder if you need permission to add them as a link to your blog.. hmm.. ).. think he described loneliness very well.. think everyone will be lonely at times.. but... that is what friends are for.. so.. B, you can cheer up.. as i think u are surrounded with friends..

how then it hit me.. y JS can dun go home and just go ard, asking pple to come out for a cup of coffee.. instead of going home.. i think i can guess what is the cause. its the sense of loneliness when you are at home.. sometimes, though i enjoy being at home.. in the comfort of my room... i do wish to get out of my house.. like now, i am having my exams.. i cant, and i should not go out to play.. however, i have the urge to get out of the house.. to go downstairs to have a walk or something like that.. well well...

i realised that i start to understand myself better through blogs.. where pple describe their feelings.. and place a name to that feeling.. sometimes.. i know i am fustrated.. but i dunno wat causes it.. and always~ well.. attribute it to PMS.. (90% true la..) but it is good to know what is the cause of your feeling.. well at least find out the 10%... it may unintentionally increase your EQ... hmmm...

well.. sighz.. feeling sianz again.. y? becos have to hit my books AGAIN.. sometimes now i dread exams.. but when.. one day.. when i do not need to take any more exams.. will i miss it?? that question.. will keep in mind.... haha.. just like u hate sch when you are in sec sch.. and u wish you are out of it.. do u miss ur friends and experience.. and think abt.."ah.. those years..."

well.. probably.. for those in schools.. we shld treasure all the time we have.. to build stronger bonds.. to make better friends.. as friends in sch.. are one of the most pure friendship you make..

take care to all.. and good luck for HR's Selection and Assessment Paper !!.. (damn..think i will fail it somehow or rather... :S)  ¶ 9:24 PM

  Sigh.. gosh.. i am relaxing too much.. so much so that i am guilty of it.. sianz..

dunno wat's it.. but i guess.. i am quite prepared for the paper.. but yet.. not very prepared.. wat's this?? ai yoh!!

Tml is my paper.. and i m still blogging.. oh no.. no wonder cheok "scold" me for blogging.. well.. she no where better.. kekeke

getting interested in HTML.. but.. think still got more to learn in..

Well.. there's some cross fire in the organisation... so much so that i m quite sadden by it.. its quite a discouragement to read the emails.. but.. not blaming any party.. each have their own reasons.. and each cant really see the other side's point.. well.. being in the middle.. i can see both points.. but i feel powerless to bring them to see each other's point.. well.. being both parties are pretty headstrong.. at this point.. forcing them to see each other's view is quite hard..

well.. i can see both points.. and each side brings their truth in it.. (wow.. hope i m being blackmailed by this statement man...) sigh.. feel very disturbed when actually.. i am so called a middle person... sadz sadz... sitting on a sharp fence is pretty painful...

well.. i think i should not place much energy on this.. but more on my exams.. but exams are so so dry.. placing my energy there is quite a waste. keke... that is y i m blogging..

but.. everything much shi(4) ke(3) er(2) zhi(3)... cannot do too much...okie.. okie.. my conscience is asking me to go have my lunch and continue studying.. sighzz.. conscience too strong..will end up like that...   ¶ 1:30 PM

  I blackmailed cheok today with her ex blog.. haha.. she is so farni.. hehehe.. dun worry cheok.. you shld not be blackmailed often... keke  ¶ 10:48 PM

  Hey.. haha.. managed to publish my blogs already... now me happy.. and statisfied.. cant believe that i had a nitemare abt blogging last nite... *whew*

will be bringing over my previous blog over.. well.. to make it complete rite? luckily i havent started much on blogging...

  ¶ 2:23 PM

  hey.. i cant post up my blog.. now i am a sad sad girl.... :(  ¶ 11:36 AM

  wow.. learn a lot from JM.. thanks!! its like a crash course to a novice in an hour!! haha.. i would say its quite an accomplishment!!

well.. will transfere my other blogs over to this blog.. think its a more beautiful blog here... :)

promise to go study at 2... or else i will not ever start!!

i'm a smiling girl this morning!! :)  ¶ 11:32 AM

  hmm.. my first blog at blogspot. my old one was at tblog...

saw my friends's blogs at blogspot.. so thinking of giving it a try.. still figuring my way out.. will navigate through...
  ¶ 12:18 AM