my life through my tinted glasses
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
  :: Moodless ::

haiz.. is that wad u call when u dunno wad to feel?

every day after work.. go driving or home.. then after that slp.. then go work again. time flies, and i had been working for the past 2 weeks? going to 3 weeks?

Time flies in office sia.. with apah unloading stuff for me to do once every 2 days... for me to clear my outstanding tasks.. for me to do the mundane stuff.. and everything.. time flies...

is that good or bad? hmm.. in a way.. think have to ask if i am wasting my time away...

well..i feel a sense of satisfaction when i set someting up, when i do up payroll, when i update the leave data.. a sense of satistfaction that something that was in a mess earlier on was cleaned up.. how nice.

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My house has 2 extra air-conditioners in my living room now.. so shiok.. can switch on aircon when i am home.. watching vcd. haha.. but come to think of it.. it is such a waste of money eh.. haiz.. how contradicting...

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Life not studying is so weird.. i start reading story books instead of textbooks.. i start reading jokes instead of project stuff.. i am starting to miss school...

come to think of it.. hmm.. ordered convo gown? i jsut ordered.. S leh. did not measure.. my friend say can change size again. haiz.. so troublesome. stil have to collect it on 27 june. argh...

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better blog something about my dear mouse before he starts complaining that i left him out of my life again.

Okies.. eh.. where to start? shall not talk about upset stuff la huh.. must learn to let go..

well.. i think i grew from this relationship. learn to be more understanding.. learn to put myself in his shoes.. learn to think like a guy... (for eg: A guy cant take directions, and cannot stand unsolicited feedback... as most books say.. when a guy goes into his cave.. cannot disturb him.. have to wait till he gets out of his cave.. then its in safe zone.. )

I begin to realise how childish i was before.. how wilful i was.. i am still childish and wilful still.. but at a manageable stage i guess... i am more concious of it.

i have more things to learn i guess.. i am still petty.. i still cant forgive immediately.. or rather, i dunno how to. how to just forgive and get going with life. sometimes i am so sick of being angry or upset. but i dunno how to face the apology and get on with life.. haiz.. something that i have to learn. guess will have to make my way down stage... life is just too short to get angry and waste time on it..

i also have to understand his feelings more.. sometimes i "scold" him.. i feel so bad myself.. but i just dunno how to stop myself. contradict eh.. sometimes.. i put myself in his shoes.. i feel so bad.. like.. he is trying to change already.. stop scolding him.. i irked myself when i tell him off.. farni ah.. haha..

well.. i think i have to learn to say sorry... think its passed down from my dad.. dunno how to say sorry.. not as vocal.. dunno how to express myself.. haaiaz.. yeah.. reflection.. must make effort to admit to my mistakes and apologise and get on with life. stop finding excuses for my own behaviour. repent.

Mouse has always been nice to me. most of the time though.. and now that i am bad to him.. haiz.. feel so bad.. so i shall change eh.. change.. change...

THE ONLY THING CONSTANT IS CHANGE

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so much for today's reflection. gotta go and slp early, so that i can wake up early or on time tml for work.

Take care folks!  11:54 PM
a life of a NTU girl.. bored with life

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