my life through my tinted glasses
Sunday, March 20, 2005
  :: it was a shitty nite ::

Haiz.. yesterday was a shitty day. Late in the morning for work, walked so far to the college.. btw, its at EXPO. the other side of the island for me. but adidas sale was okie.. lunch with the birdies and carol is fun.. all shit starts at sentosa.

Was suppose to go to a mutual friend's birthday. was so tired, that i fell aslp from kovan all the way to harbour front. dun even know where am i, i just slept and slept till i heard the station harbour front. think becos of the lack of slp, i got a huge headache once i alight from the mrt.

well, we met, bought some food. bought a cup of coffee, and we are off to sentosa. Was slpy still though i had coffee. think its becos i am physically tired after the KTV session. nevertheless, was so tired...

Reached there, i tot the friends will be friendly. but they are cliquish. they know each other before hand, but i dont know any of them except him. nvm, i tot we can break the ice, and probably the nite will not be so bad.

but, they are not interested in getting to know me. its hard for me to break the ice. they all had internal jokes. i felt so left out... so out. no one to help me to get in. not even him. he was just socialising with the rest. it was worse then his social nite.

the onli amusement i found there was the cat. tot we are alike. abandoned, no one to talk to. all alone. so sad when the cat went away. my onli companion was away.

So lucky that i hve an excuse to go home to celebrate by bro's b-day. though i have expected them to blow the cake without waiting for me. i am still glad that i can go home. it was hell for me there.

he did offer to send me home, but did not insist. so, i guess he still wanted to stay there and entertain his friends. i drank. first time i found red wine refreshing. first glup was refreshing, second glup was gross, third glup i was almost puking. turning so red.. i dont usually drink, but that time, i think red wine can share the tots with me.

dont understand y he ask me to go when he's not ready to be with me. i think it will be better if he went alone. the nite may not be so bad. if someone talked to me chatted with me, probably its not so bad. i was practically left alone there. onli the host was nice to me. the rest talked among themselves.. i felt like a sore thumb.. even the person who brought me there ignored me. i cant take that, i dun wan to be anti-social. but no one wans to be socialise with me. a clique, how to break in?

i wanted to disappear from the scene. walked out of sentosa myself.

i reflected. is it me? am i taking too far? maybe from the dehydration, causing the headache.. but, me? too much to make a fuss? i think now, 1 day after the day, i still can feel the soreness..

let me reflect again. i wan to forget, but guess, this will not be good solution. haiz.

i hate my weekend.
  2:13 PM
a life of a NTU girl.. bored with life

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