my life through my tinted glasses
Thursday, March 10, 2005
  :: A roller coaster week ::

haiz... i dunno how to feel now. felt numb...

sat and sun was perfect.. we went kayaking, 1 star course.. it was so fun.. u kayak.. u laugh.. u capsize.. and ur friends laugh.. woah.. it was so fun...

my monday felt so fresh.. never felt so fresh on a monday before.. like endless energy.. i finished my CIP hrs for OOH... my FYP coming to and end... working for 3rd draft.. i felt good...

Haiz.. the roller coaster came when dear say he confirm flying in June. haiz... june.. that is 3 mths time.. wad can i say.. and once he go over, he will be there for 2 years.. only entitled to come back once a year.. and definately not during CNY... haiz.. 2 years! 2 years! that is equivalent of him going overseas to study. well.. overseas to study, at least got freedom to move abt.. he's going to a military camp.. so almost like.. prison.. no internet access.. no shopping areas.. nothing to look fwd to.. hiaz..

both of us are sad. we will miss each other definiately.. i worry for him and myself.. no matter wad.. we are almost spending our free time together.. suddenly... we are no longer in each other's life.. for 2 years.. no quality time together.. how to survive? haiz.. how are we going to spend our weekends? no more kayaking, no more trekking, no more relaxing at the reservoir.. how to pass time? how to communicate? over msn? over web cam? that is if the camp allows a web cam..

worry for him.. who to take care of him when he is sick? who to ensure that he takes regular meals? to ensure that he is not too stress, and chill out often? worry....

cracked a joke with him that though he goes overseas, saved up a great deal of money for marriage to find that his bride to be is another person's wife. that will be a love tragedy. Was laughing so hard that i teared. did i tear out of happiness? or did i tear out of sadness? I think its the latter.

haiz.. think so much of this, also no use. wad's going to happen will happen. wad to do? well.. its a test of our relationship i guess.. but will it sustain for 2 years.. haiz.. very scary.. i dunno... i hope it does.. probably with 2 people being positive, things may work out fine..

first time i wish for a war to happen, between taiwan and china, so that dear no need to go over. but its dumb.. how can i be so selfish? haiz...

being positive.. can i do it? i hope so... i hope so...  11:25 AM
a life of a NTU girl.. bored with life

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