my life through my tinted glasses
Monday, August 29, 2005
  :: one lonely weekend ::

haiz.. the weekend is over.. and here comes the start of the week...

the past weekend isnt the best of all weekends.. well.. not that there are no pple ard me, or i was let totally to myself.. i did go swimming with my parents.. had lunch with dear's family.. went shopping with dear's sister.. bought a pair of pointy shoes.. i spend my time with someone.. but.. i still cant escape the empty feeling within me...

this feeling is so horrible.. was just recapping with his sister that it had only been 2 months. 1.5 months to be exact.. time passed quickly because i had NDP and the launch to busy myself with to the brim.. but now.. i have things to be busy with.. but not that busy... haiz.. and all the pangs of loneliness and emptiness start to hit me..

was just reading my diaries entries when we just got together 3 years ago.. well.. those days.. we cant even be separated for 3 days.. and to think that we have to be separated for 3 months or more.. haiz..

there are concerned pple ard me.. and i am thankful for them.. there's mas.. his family.. my family and some closer friends.. they are concern with how i led my life after he flew overseas.. but no matter how much they say or how much concern they show.. i will still show my brave front.. and whimper.. in the dark.. away in a corner of my room.. out of ear shot..

its true.. i miss dear...

miss the time we go for movies together.. missed the times we go out for a stroll after dinner.. missed the time we go for dinner together.. slacking at home.. watching vcds and watching him play games.. instead.. time is being spend alone.. watching anime by myself.. with my family and friends..

its a perfect time to mend back lost friendship.. you may say.. best time to do bonding with my family..

but.. its 3 years of relationship.. i spend 3 years with him.. and every day of my 3 years.. i get in touch with him at least once a day...

now.. if i can chat up with him.. with neither of us tired.. i would be lucky...

haiz.. think it must be the tea that i had in office that kept me so alert.. led me to thinking all these nonsensical stuff.. i ought to be tired.. and go to slp.. and forget all these issues.. and start a fresh day tml...

but will i be deceiving myself and pple ard me that i am alright? not sure..

but before i can deceive others.. i have to deceive myself first.. so i have to psycho myself first..

so i should be off to bed.. and no more thinking aloud..

haiz.. wad had happened to me?   10:29 PM
a life of a NTU girl.. bored with life

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