my life through my tinted glasses
:: Recovered :: all it takes is a hula hoop, a salad and a cut that made us well again. how he tried to make me laugh trying out the hula hoop.. and how he encouraged instead of discouraging me... i am going to buy one hula hoop! it trains my waist.. and my stomach is aching now.. the cut on the finger some how shows the concern he has for me once again.. and i can feel it again.. the concern was written all over his face.. when he dun allow me to cut the honey dew again.. and how he cut the honey dew instead.. how he insist to put qing chao you on my small cut and how i resist.. those are so memorable.. the cut is worth the pain i had. it healed us... ********************* Rach left for Cedar point today.. well.. there was much emotion... never mind rach! u will enjoy urself there.. its onli 3 months plus.. i am quite sure you will enjoy urself.. think positively.. take lots of pictures! if possible.. we may meet u at taipei! = ) ********************** a few more days to the end of my holiday. going to start work again.. 16 may. haiz.. i have yet to start work, i can feel the burden that's on me already. lots of things to me done.. lots of system to be in place.. ADMINSTRATIVE MANAGER. sounds nice.. but its just like any clerk work i guess.. something that u have to do everyday.. but no one knows u are doing something... Apah mentioned that if nothing happens.. if everything goes smoothly.. if i can find all documents that everyone wans.. it is a good system.. and that is my KPI. haiz.. so unmeasurable.. how? *********************** talk abt it.. we went for KTV on tuesday.. haha.. it was pretty fun.. as there's a variety of pple there.. chinese songs, malay songs, english songs, cantonese songs, hokkien songs... not everyone understand all the songs.. but i hope everyone enjoyed themselves... from the experience then i know that apah knows how to sing very well... ah yao too... they are great singers sia.. then i realised i cant see at all.. and mas can sing.. i cant sing... argh. so embarrasing.. haha.. and how we rushed to the mrt station to get on the last train.. i ran like mad to get on my train.. to realised that there's another one 7 mins later.. and THAT is the last train.. haiz.. feel so dumb! *********************** Thinking of making Koniayku jelly on saturday.. hmm.. so fun.. probably do some cycling.. haha.. have to see if dear is tired or not... hope to do something meaningful.. after the salad incident.. i find making things so fun! but. need to have some money la.. haha then probably can go rock climbing on sun.. anyone wans to go? *********************** watching FULL HOUSE.. cant believe my mum watches it faster then me.. okie.. think i better go catch up with her ba...
:: Petty :: am i being petty for ignoring him for 3 days .. hmm.. i think so too.. probably its the hormones finding life boring and would like to add spice into my life. hahz. but, cant he just say " okie, next time i will apply auto-roaming before going for trips" or " i will call back to tell u that i am safe the next time round".. sincerely.. looking at me in the eyes.. well.. probably he did say those, but not sincere enough.. i was thinking of it while watching FULL HOUSE (another korean show).. the ger was furious when the guy did not call home to let her know that he is coming home late, and the ger waited for him for the nite.. the guy just looked at her, and sincerely and apologetically say " i will call back the next time when i m coming home late, you need not wait for me.. i used to live alone, and hence was not used to calling back. i will call back the next time round." wun that just solve our problem.. ? instead of using reasoning to try to make me understand why he did not apply for auto-roaming.. y not just say in future he will apply? this is not a rational issue.. but an emotional issue.. cant he just accept it... everytime such things happen, i would have to use my brain to accept his rational reasons, and use my own heart to console the emotional issues.. this is so tiring.. these things will keep ocurring again and again, if the source of the problem is not found out.. and the post-problem solving does not improve... i dunno wad's the source of the problem.. i am trying to find out.. but its not I who need the reason.. its US who need the reason.. we need to find it out together.. if its unilateral.. its does not work.. it needs to be mutual. haiz.. i have nothing to say.. i am just tired.. and dun wish to talk to him as yet.. probably when the hormones wish to give me a fresh breath again.. i will talk...
:: Too much? :: haiz.. dunno wad's wrong with me... i was all fine yesterday.. going out with my gang of pple.. take photos.. shop.. go library.. everything jsut went fine... well.. i dunno why am i so frustrated with JS... over small matters.. but somehow.. just felt.. that he wasnt as caring as before.. that he minded himself more than other pple.. i dunno.. probably its just me.. being in a bad mood.. me.. in a fix.. wanting to hear some opinion.. but he is just concern that he is going cycling the next day.. and need all the energy he needs to cycle the next day.. dying to go to slp... he dun remember the days where he needs pple to talk to.. where we talk till 2am at my void deck.. did i ever say that i was tired.. that i need all the energy i need the next day? is it too much to ask him to talk to me a while more, with full attention? too much of me to ask him to help me think of my situation and give me some advice? when i went overseas.. did i just leave my auto roaming on, just in case he needs to contact me.. and in case i need to contact him or my family... regardless of the phone bill.... is it too much of me to just ask him to subscribe to auto roaming.. so that when i tot of him, i can send him an sms, and need not go thru our friend... is it too much? hmm... is it too much of me to ask him to give me a call when he's overseas.. just to ensure that he is safe.. and prevent me and his family from imaging things, and have a peaceful slp? too much? am i too much? too much that showed him the cold shoulder? i dunno.. whenever i tot of these.. i find much anger.. should i just forgive.. and find excuses for him AGAIN.. just like the times before.... help him to possibly explain how the above mentioned incidents are just TOO MUCH? VEXED
