my life through my tinted glasses
Thursday, October 21, 2004
  ~ Start of my rigourous study regime ~

sighz.. sighz.. i m demoralised..

stayed at home the whole day.. and only managed to complete 2 chaps of SM? sighz.. die.. still got 2 chaps of PE before i can slp..

and here i m sipping red bull at 1am.. hope it helps.. dun really like coffees at nite.. no tea too.. sighz. weird me..

not looking forward to anything.. nothing on this weekend... with dear on his way to his ophir.. not that i dun allow him to go.. but.. must he choose this time slot of all time slots? when i need to unwind on a sat before i rejuvenate and propel for the week ahead.. sighz.. oh well.. it boils down to a selfish me i guess.. its me.. its always me.. y me? haiz.. = (

its only a day.. and i m starting to hate my SM text.. guess becos the notes and the text is not in sync.. it is all jumbled up all over the text.. spend most of my time.. reorganising the tots.. from books to notes.. and from notes to brains.. sighz.. though SM is an open book.. i tot i still need to read to understand the strategies of the local company.. sighz..

i m just an unhappy ger now. not sure y too. back aches.. headaches.. all the bad pains are back.. and i wonder y.. sighz.. and my chair has to go against me.. with the height not suitable for the table.. causing my back to ache.. and my shoulder sloughing..

back to my books.. still a long way ahead~ the nite is still young.. or is it the morn already.. hmph..

  1:51 AM
Monday, October 18, 2004
  ~ End of presentation ~

finally.. all my presentations are done.. over.. no more nitemare.. cant believe i had a nitemare last nite regarding the presentation...

We were the first group.. and i think i was going thru in the rush.. stammered.. and murmured my things.. sigh.. i hope my individual presentation wun get affected...!

argh.. so boring.. got 2.5 hours to go.. and i dunno wad to do.. brought my PE notes.. but.. not very keen in looking at it eh.. sighz.. wad can i do now?

okies.. i have to go and find something to do.. Time to start studying...


  11:58 AM
Sunday, October 17, 2004
  ~ Last presentation of the semester! ~

it will be the last presentation of the semester for me. oh well.. finally everything is coming to an end. Just did my part for SM report.. aim to hand in on tuesday..

for the rest who will have presentations.. JIA YOU wor.. it will end soon!

oh well.. sat was a bad day for me.. having orientation for volunteers.. *have a shuai4 ge for orientation today yeh.. too bad.. he's one year younger! hahahz..* for 1.5 hours.. non-stop. but i should be thankful that they come in one after another.. and not interrupted each of them. oh well.. then there's this meeting for event. i was really very angry.. because half of me says i need to meet dear.. (i had been doing overtime for the past 3 weeks! i mean.. dear can wait for 1 week.. 2 weekS.. not 3..! we only meet once a week! not like we meet everyday! how come some pple dun understand that?! urgh...) and the other responsible me that states that i had to stay because its me i/c... argh...

dragged myself out of the meeting.. and went off to yishun. i was angry with dear too because he just couldnt understand where i m comng from.. if i die a year earlier.. it will be from the stressed i had!

gave a super long face.. because i was very tired... (slpt at 3am woke up at 7am to go to work..) sighz.. that the only thing i need is slp.. and he wans a movie instead (though he did ask..) so pull myself to the movies.. i din make any choice.. though he asked again.. and was annoyed. but dear went to buy the tickets.. without asking me.. i was surprised.. because he did not do it before.. because i know i need the movie to unwind.. but i dun wan to spend the money.. neither do i wan him to spend the money..sighz.. i expected that from my ex.. but he din understand that.. but dear understood... i am so glad.. he did that.. = )

i am always contradicting myself.. "i wan to go out.. but i need to study.." or "i wan to eat.. but i am not hungry.." or.. "i am hungry. but i dun wan to eat.." and everytime i do that.. i hope dear will just come in and do something.. to control my contradict-nes.. because i will be so confused myself.. i need some leadership.. its always my inner me and my responsibility fighting.. sighz.. that is so sickening..

so.. after the movie.. (white chicks.. farni show.. can be used for relaxing.. ) my mood got better.. everything else went smoother..

today.. i enjoyed my sunday.. i got some things done.. i completed my reports.. i watched some tv.. (oh yah! the sammi cheung show is SOO SOO touching.. wo de zuo yan kan dao gui.. the husband was looking after her for year after he passed away.. and din wan to tell her because he's using the body of another man.. who he thinks will take care of her better.. the most moving scene i feel was that.. when she tried to take her life.. her husband.. actually encouraged her to carry on with her life.. wow.. ) and watched pearl habour.. got some slp... okies.. that is a good day.. though i aimed to study.. but had yet to start..

okie.. ought to prepare for my presentation tml.. then i shall go take an early nite.. for once.. dun wan to be late for presentation tml.. all the best to everyone!!

  11:17 PM
a life of a NTU girl.. bored with life

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