my life through my tinted glasses
Saturday, October 08, 2005
  :: 2 weeks of BUZZ ::

okies.. it had been a hectic 2 weeks.. rushing a lot of letters and info kits.. was so lost in my work.. that i forget my loneliness.. oh well.. i am just fortunate that there are pple ard to accompany me.. haha..

yeah.. now at least i had some time for a breather.. just went YH's birthday party yesterday.. was so tired because the day before, was rushing for a project till ard 2:30am.. so.. by then i got to her house.. i was like.. almost dead.. but all went well.. helped her to take photos.. and tata~ done. was a good catching up time with the area 19 ex-CIs .. wen bin, boon han, weiting and yanlin.. oh well.. time well-spend.. though it is terribly tiring..

then today.. after some good rest.. i went for rock-climbing with danwen and wilson and jes.. well.. i din wan to go initially.. was just lazy.. and it was such good weather.. and i was tired.. but.. just need to get out and work it out.. so.. forced myself to go to Climb Adventure.. and well.. i did have some fun there.. learning how to "twist" myself upwards.. and wilson threaten to charge us clinic fees and i threathen to throw his phone up when the phone rings.. haha.. well.. good choice.. i think if i had just bump ard at home.. things may go bad..

****************************

Man are from MARs, Woman from VENUS

oh well.. that is the book i am reading.. trying to make sense out of it..

like why gers bitch ard more.. because they are nurturing their feminine side of them... and y guys dont speak much because they are into their caves...

oh well.. now i start to understand y i am distressed when dear is not around... i am too much into my masculine mode of solving problems.. working out solutions.. and i am not allowed to nurture my feminine side of talking and analysing problems aloud...

i also understand y dear is so easily upset with my comments because he is unable to duck and dorge from my verbal attacks.. which is sometimes.. unintentional, and not targeting him.. and he might have took it literally.. and i think i have a special talent for that..

sometimes i am so into my masculine mode.. that i am unable to turn to my feminine side.. and no one at home can nurture my feminine side.. and i start to not to share.. and start to keep to myself.. and soon.. it becomes overwhelming...

and also understand y dear cannot initiate the conversation.. and cannot preserve long enough to get me into my feminine mode and prepare me to talk..

also think that dear is usually at his feminine side.. as he talks a lot.. and i am forced to me in my masculine side.. and i cant covert to my feminine side.. and hence, no balance... and i get distress.. and such problems becomes worse for us as we have no physical contact.. he cant comfort me.. and hug me.. which is the best medicine for any unhappy events in my day..

so.. how? after understanding the reasons.. wad are the solutions?

i dont know..

probably i can read more, and see if i can find out more info..

but till then.. i can only understand and emphatise.. i cant do anything else...

or can i?  10:03 PM
a life of a NTU girl.. bored with life

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